


Thrilling Night! Romantic Adventure at the Video Rental Store!

by Masu_Trout



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anime Is Real, Date Night, F/F, Fluff, POV Outsider, Post-Canon, Post-Pacifist Route, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 01:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5520650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masu_Trout/pseuds/Masu_Trout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working retail has a way of deadening a person's soul to any sort of surprise. But ex-subterranean monsters for customers? <i>Definitely</i> new.</p><p>(Alphys and Undyne have an anime date night.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thrilling Night! Romantic Adventure at the Video Rental Store!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [phidari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phidari/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, Phidari, and thank you for the chance to write Alphys/Undyne fluff! I love these too way too much.

It was twenty minutes before closing when a giant fish burst through the door of the Late Nite Family Video Store. (For All Your Late Nite Needs™: Open 'til 10:00 Monday through Thursday and 12:00 on the weekends!) 

Miranda yelped, ducking behind a rack of candy. She'd heard rumors of monsters roaming their area before (perfectly safe and completely civil, the government had informed them, as though that was going to calm anyone's nerves), and even seen a few blurry stills taken by gawkers with more passion for internet fame than sense, but she'd never expected to see one _in person_. She'd sort of assumed this sort of thing happened to people at Starbucks or McDonalds, not college students working the night shift at dying video chains. 

Did monsters even watch videos? 

Jackson—damn him—didn't so much as look up from the magazine in his hands. Someday her useless coworker was going to get robbed or kidnapped or abducted by aliens and not even notice. When that day came, was she going to stick her neck out for his lazy ass?

(Well, probably. Miranda had always wanted to be the hero in a crime thriller and/or science fiction epic. But she'd definitely at least be pissed about it.)

“Hello!” the fish called out cheerfully, waving at her as though the shelving between them wasn't even there. 

Miranda realized with a blush and a quick mental estimate that this monster had to be at least a good six and half feet tall and therefore could see right over the rack. She poked at a few of the candies to give the impression that she'd _totally_ just been straightening up—definitely no other reason for being down here at all—before standing up again. 

“H-hello!” she said. “Can I help you find anything?” There was a whole spiel she was supposed to give to first-time customers, but as of right now she was going to count it as a win if she could get through this conversation without either causing horrible cultural offense or getting herself eaten.

Good thing there were no other customers around this time of night; she could only imagine how some of them might react.

“Oh, yeah, totally.” The fish stepped inside, looking around at the shelves of DVDs. Its uncovered eye was wide with amazement. “Wow! There's seriously been this many movies made? Humans sure do like looking at stuff, I guess.”

With the _tap-tap-tap_ of claws on tile, a yellow creature followed the fish-person into the store. Miranda realized with a start that she wouldn't be serving one monster tonight—there were two of them in the store _right in front of her_. 

This was either the coolest or the scariest thing that had ever happened to her. Maybe both.

The second monster was much smaller than the first, barely even coming up to its companion's midsection. It was lizard-like, with a crested forehead, an odd sort of hunched-over gait, and a stubby little tail poking out from under its jacket. It was also, Miranda realized suddenly, wearing glasses.

“Oh my god,” the tiny monster said. It looked up at the shelves as though it were having a religious experience. “ _Oh. My. God._ There's so many of them! With the original case and cover art intact! _I didn't even have to pull any of them out of a trash pile_.”

Miranda's plan had been not to comment on anything these two said, no matter how strange, but she couldn't hold back a bit of a laugh at the monster's words—the best she could do was turn it into a cough.

“Wait, no!” the tiny monster gasped out suddenly. “I don't, like, go through trash all the time or anything. I mean, I _do_ , I did, but there was a good reason for it and I'm not gross about it—ugh.”

It stopped suddenly, hunching over even further, and nervously twisted its front paws together. “I told you this was a terrible idea, Undyne. I haven't even been in here five minutes and I already sound like an idiot.”

“What? No way!” The taller monster said with a voice was somewhere between sandpaper and a chainsaw. “Employees never care if you sound dumb, 'cause they're going to be laughing at you no matter what you do.”

“That's… comforting, I guess.”

“Look, this place is never going to get emptier than this. It's the perfect time to try shopping in the human world!” The monster—Undyne, apparently—turned to Miranda and offered her a shark-like grin. “Hey there, human!” 

“Hi, um… monster,” Miranda said. Her hand made it halfway to a weak sort of wave before dropping back to her side. Was monster a neutral term? Normal customers had nearly punched her out before over things like overdue fines. She couldn't even begin to imagine how badly it would go for her if she offended a giant fish-person customer.

If anything, though, the monster's grin only stretched wider. “Oh, right, I totally forgot! I'm Undyne, and”—Undyne swept a hand out towards the smaller monster—“this is my girlfriend, Alphys.”

Alphys squeaked, blushing bright orange. “Undyne! You can't just blurt that out to everyone! What are people going to say?”

Undyne grinned, bending down to crouch at Alphys's level. “They're gonna say, 'holy _shit_ , who's that adorable lady and how can I get myself one?' And then I'm going to laugh in their faces, because everyone knows you can't actually clone monsters.”

“I mean, maybe if you had the right equipment? Agh, no, that's not what I meant to say.” Alphys's claws were pressed tightly against her face; if anything, she seemed more orange than before. “I actually wanted to say, um, thank you, Undyne! I think y-you're pretty great too.”

 _Oh god._ Miranda wasn't just helping a pair of monsters; she was helping an _adorable monster couple_. The sort of couple who went on midnight dates to the movie store and sweet-talked about cloning each other in public, at that.

_This is a sign, isn't it? The universe sent these two in here to remind me that I'm never going to get a girlfriend._

Alphys paused, suddenly realizing that Miranda was still standing next to them. “Oh, sorry! We're not trying to keep you standing around forever, I promise. We were wondering if you had an, um”—her tail swept the floor as she fidgeted—“anime section?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. We've got a few shelves.” Finally, something she could actually help them with. “Here, this way.”

She led them to the back corner of the store. The anime DVDs had been shoved just behind the cartoons (and, for whatever reason, just before the documentaries), and five years or so ago an overzealous employee had stuck _EXPLICIT_ labels on most of the cases. She'd done her best to scrape them off, but the result was a whole lot of smudged and slightly sticky labels.

Neither of the two seemed to care. If anything, it was the opposite.

Alphys clasped her hands to her chest, a hint of tears brimming in the corner of her eyes. “Look how many there are! This is the best thing that's happened to me since I left the underground.” She paused. “Well, besides the sunlight and fresh and air and all that. But still, definitely top five. Top three. Top two.”

Undyne smirked toothily. “You sure about that?”

“Okay, fine.” Alphys sighed. “This totally wins.”

“Hah! Thought so.”

“Are you two anime fans, then?” Miranda wasn't sure how they'd even get anime while stuck inside a subterranean world completely sealed off from human society. Amazon, maybe?

“Oh yeah,” Undyne said. At her side, her girlfriend nodded vigorously. “Alphys knows more about it than me, though.”

“Cool.” She waved towards the rows of cases. “If you have any questions about any of the titles, I can probably help you. I've seen most of them.”

She'd seen all of them, actually, even the truly atrocious harem series and badly-dubbed OVAs from the late eighties. It wasn't something she was proud of, exactly, but growing up a nerdy child in a family that believed strongly in Internet filters had led her to some truly desperate acts.

“You like anime too?” Alphys grinned. “Um, have you, by any chance… ever seen Mew Mew Kissy Cutie?”

“Yeah, I've watched that one. I'm not too much a fan of kiddy shows, but the animation's pretty good for its time.”

Alphys frowned. “Well, I mean, I don't know if I'd be willing to call it a _kiddy_ show. Regardless of the intended audience, the themes it portrays are meaningful to all age ranges, and some of the moral dilemmas that Mew Mew faces during her battles are just incredibly deep. I mean, in the Tart arc alone—”

Undyne nudged her. “Closes in fifteen, remember?”

“Oops!” She turned back to Miranda. “Ahaha, erm. Sorry about that. Out of curiosity, do you have any series you'd recommend?”

Now, at least, Miranda was on more familiar ground. “If you like action, maybe Attack on Titan? It's about a group of humans who have to… kill… enormous monsters… um.” She hurriedly put the case back. “Actually, skip that one! I'm sure we can find a better series. What sort of stuff are you into?”

“Swords!” Undyne very nearly shouted. “And magicians, and hardboiled detectives. Ooh, and robots.” She frowned. “Not sexy robots, though. Sexy robots really aren't all they're cracked up to be.”

“He's pretty decent once you get to know him,” Alphys said, a little reproachfully.

“Eh.”

That was definitely one argument Miranda wanted to stay out of. “Robots, detectives, and magicians, huh? There's probably something good with those in here.”

“Wait! Actually, I changed my mind. Do you have any good historically-accurate anime?”

“Historically accurate?” Miranda asked, more than a bit confused. 

Even Alphys was bewildered, if the way she stared up at her girlfriend was any indication.

“Yeah!” She turned to Alphys. “Think about it. We can watch anime _and_ get culturally knowledgeable at the same time! Frisk'll be super impressed, and”—she scowled—“Asgore will stop giving me that _look_ every time he asks me whether I read those boring history books he left for me yet. You know how horrible it is to have him disappointed in you?”

Alphys gave her a flat, expressionless look.

“Oh. Oh, right.” Undyne coughed. “Sorry, Alphys.”

 _Historically accurate,_ Miranda thought. That, of all the things she'd mentioned, was probably the tallest order. Miranda was neither a film student or a connoisseur of fine media; the things she watched mainly featured explosions, gunfights, or preferably both. She scanned the shelves for a few moments before focusing on a particular case.

“Hey!” She grabbed it off the shelf, showing it to the two. “This one might actually fit what you want. It's super historical, and it won a bunch of awards too.” 

Undyne plucked the case from her hands and turned it over. “'Two children, born at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and now cast adrift in a world that lacks not the care to shelter them'… this looks intense. What do you think, Alphys?”

Alphys stretched onto the tips of her clawed feet to get a look at the cover. “The art looks nice.”

“ _And_ it features human children, which are objectively the best type of human.” Undyne glanced at Miranda. “No offense.”

“...None taken?”

Alphys nodded decisively. “Okay, let's get it!” 

“Great,” Miranda said. “Here, follow me and I can check you out.”

She led them back to the front counter, awkwardly squeezing past Jackson (and accidentally-on-purpose jabbing him with her elbow a few times in the process) to get at the cash register. Alphys had stretch onto her tiptoes once more just to set the DVD on the counter, but after that it was easy to ring up.

“Okay, you've got forty-eight hours on this rental. Cash or credit?”

“Er.” Undyne paused, patting at the pocket of her jacket. “…Gold pieces?”

“I'm… not sure we can take that.” A sudden thought struck Miranda. “Wait, do you mean, like, _actual gold_ —”

“Here,” Alphys said, pulling out her own wallet and sliding a few bills onto the counter. “I've got cash.”

“… Ah. Great, thanks.” 

That was probably for the best, no matter how much she wanted to see monster currency. After all, she had absolutely no idea what the exchange rate for gold was like.

Undyne turned around to wave at Miranda as the two of them walked towards the door. Her smile was every bit as toothy as it had been before, but now it seemed friendly rather than frightening. Miranda couldn't help but grin back. 

“Thanks again!” she said. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you too,” Miranda said, and to her own surprise she absolutely meant it.

Undyne turned to Alphys as the two of them stepped outside, scaly chest puffed out in something that looked like pride. “Oh man, just _wait_ until I tell Papyrus I talked to a human worker today. I told him I'd win at any human friendship contest—”

The doors slammed shut behind them, cutting off the rest of their conversation. They walked hand-in-hand out into the gloom of the darkened parking lot; it took only a few seconds for them to disappear into the darkness entirely.

Miranda flopped against the counter the moment they were gone, glaring lazily at Jackson. “Thanks for all your help, valued employee.” 

She couldn't really get too angry, considering how it turned out, but still. Ragging on each other had more or less become a nightly tradition for the two of them, and she wasn't about to miss out on prime material like this.

“No problem. I knew you had it.”

“Ugh.” She kicked at the leg of his stool, then yelped when he managed to stomp on her toes without even glancing away from his magazine. “Is there something I did to deserve this? Those two are like, the perfect couple, and here I can't even find a single decent girl.”

Jackson shrugged. “Maybe it's your personality?”

“You're such an asshole. Why do I even talk to you?”

He didn't even bother to dignify that with a response. The two of them watched the clock together, waiting for it to count down the last three minutes before they would finally be able to leave. 

Thirty seconds until closing, a thought struck Miranda. “Hey. Do you think I should have told those two that Grave of the Fireflies is a tragedy?”

“Eh, they're adults,” Jackson said. “I'm sure they'll be able to handle it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler: They are not able to handle it.
> 
> (For any who might be unfamiliar, _Grave of the Fireflies_ is a Studio Ghibli film about bad things happening to a pair of children in WWII-era Japan, and it is an excellent choice of movie if you hate your own happiness.)
> 
> Also, I'm pretty sure Jackson is basically a slightly-more-resigned-to-his-life human Burgerpants. I'm still not certain whether they'd get along great or hate each other on sight.


End file.
